What do you use to seal illogic?

I recognize the signs, see the clouds gathering. Ominously
Catch myself doing the same thing, over and over.
Expecting a different result? - I am not even sure that I do.
But I keep on doing it. I keep doing it.
 
Is this really my pattern?
All those adjectives I've been told; were they just euphemisms?
How was I supposed to know they meant something else entirely?
 
It's me, I guess. It was always me.
I break the rules.
I invent stories, I wreck things that others have built. 
And in the end, when all is shattered, I blame you.
Like a child, I wave my broken toy in your face,
I push until you feel the guilt.
Do you feel it?
 
Everything is too simple, nothing ever measures up.
I need the impossible to stare me in the face and say: take a punch!
Knowing I will never be able to, is what keeps me going.
Do you get it? Do you see?
How can I explain that things have no value until they are out of my reach?
How do I tell you these things without making you walk away.
Making me want you, finally.
 
 

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