the order you seek; the confusion you feel

It seems so easy, 
to skip a few steps, to rush by, without words
- without trust.
What is all over your mind must never spill out onto the canvas of everyday,
you won't let it taint the space you create for yourself
The domain which you finally dominate; it is only yours. 
So, you swallow your thoughts, you eat your words before they take shape,
drowning them in discipline,
Don't ask, don't tell, don't let anybody in.
But I know your tricks.
Crafting words to create a different reality is my excuse.
Digging to the core only to cover it up with something else is my prerogative.
Spinning analyses for others, so that they forget to analyze me.
It helps, it removes you from the source.
It seems easy, because for a moment that pain is just a word that means something different.
But when all is said and done (or thought and written),
you are still there.
Core exposed, questions unanswered.
And all those eyes wondering why you are digging alone.

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