How to juggle a Successful Relationship and a Fruitful Friendship with a person of the opposite Sex simultaneously

What NOT TO DO to a Friend that has expressed amorous feelings for you:

1. Make a grand gesture (call on special occasions, visit Friend in a foreign city, etc.)
2. Kiss Friend
3. Tell Friend you have no regrets about kissing Friend
4. Go to Friend's house and call Friend a coward for not initiating further physical contact
5. Kiss Friend repeatedly
6.... and leave the country!

The above provisions should be avoided if you have no intention of changing the nature of :
a) your friendship or b) your relationship.

it's true: it is boring!

Dedicating a few thoughts to my lost, but definitely not forgotten friends from Vienna.
Some of them further away than that right now, but all still close in my mind.
I know I've written about this before, but the importance of good friends cannot be emphasized enough.
And I know for sure I would not be here at this point in my life if it weren't for all those amazing people
that I have met along the way.

Lots of <3 for Beth, Michaela, Maja, Michele, Izidora, Ian, Danielle, Evi & Miriam. You are kuschel-zeit missed!

There are times when you are faced with choices between people, friends, lovers and opportunities.
Even more so as you grow up and realize you are running out of time.
I'm trying to choose wisely, but even more so I'm hoping to be chosen.

these little wonders

How can you stick to a game, when the rules keep changing?
I shall call myself Alice and play croquet with the flamingos.
In Wonderland everyone cheats, and Love is wonderland,
isn't it?*

* Jeanette Winterson

Just (do it to yourself)

She says: Maybe it's over
He says: There's plenty more fish in the sea..
I say: Don't go away, go away.

how to descend from an 18 floor balcony.

James Morrison's got it right, in his bittersweet ways.
I've been twisting and turning in this place that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall.

ergo (NOT) sum?

I think I am finally running out of thoughts.
If it is true that the brain develops and progresses when faced with problems it must seek to find solutions for, forcing it to create a labyrinth of new synapses; then emotional dilemmas should be like gym for the mind.
But, is it not so, that excessive thinking about anything- an idea, a problem, a person- in the end is bound to stifle the cerebral progress?
Somehow there must be a finite set of possible and potential scenarios (solutions, if you like) that fit each dilemma. And today I think my record started playing on repeat.

So, not only do I have to deal with moral degeneration, now my mind is also slowing down.
That's great, really.

fate and future; fearless.

More often than not I realize what vast amount of knowledge that is out there
just waiting to be acquired, waiting for someone to grab it and lift it up to the light
and how little time there is to find it all.

Sometimes I feel torn between two desires:
the first being neglecting all other things and throw myself in life-consuming professional life
on an international level and the second being the desire to just find my place, start something to call my own
- to be in love and to be satisfied.
Sadly, these two tendencies do not mix very well and it never seems to be a good time to make decisions.

The question is, does one look up, above and beyond because it is easier to detach, to replace than to make an effort right here? Or, conversely, does one give up too easily, settle for safety instead of attempting to reach one's real potential?

"Vi få ej välja ramen för vårt öde. Men vi ge den dess innehåll. Den som vill äventyret skall också uppleva det – efter måttet av sitt mod. Den som vill offret skall offras – efter måttet av sin renhet.” Dag Hammarskjöld.

my mind is... (XXV)

I need to understand your personal illusions to grasp the scope of your illness

everyone makes mistakes, "it is only human", we say.
yet, nobody wants to be the mistake of somebody else.
this is an end more feared than committing a fault yourself.

what worse destiny than being something that should have never happened?
something that history will revise and erase,
change the story. change the meaning?

Pessimism is a defense mechanism so powerful,
so efficient and highly addictive that it is hard to discard.
Deeply rooted in the psyche, it dwells in your mind even when you think you are cured
expecting the worst does not guarantee a happy ending.

For some stories a happy ending is just not possible.
Not because of my innate pessimism but due to the shear amount of Variables involved.

Pardon me (while I burn)

How does a girl who falls down a rabbit hole - plummeting into chaos-
come out unchanged?
- She does not.

If you desperately look for your own meaning in the words of others
you will find it.
and foolishly you think you can twist destiny to follow your own plans.
Your desires.

I agree, it is every man for himself
and it is a cruel world
where we must fight for every step that we take,
in the direction of our dreams.

sometimes it seems that some things are so large
to overshadow all others.
and we are tempted to let go of plans, dreams and feelings
that we once held on to so tight.
We let it all go and hope to reach some divine union.

the question is:
is what we give up larger than what we get in return?
and when the risk of ending up with nothing at all
is so big that the sacrifice seems like sheer stupidity...

Should we pardon all in the name of Love?

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