I don't mind if you don't mind

Strangers. 
Sitting side by side.
Carefully crafting a space between us, 
on this pier where we sit and in our minds, 
- distance.
 
And although handmade distance can be painful, sometimes it is needed.
Because I remember myself quietly singing:
'can you pretend I'm amazing, I can pretend I'm amazing' (instead of what we both know)
hoping to fake it til I could make it.
And now I am no longer that girl, searching for your weak spot.
Searching for anything at all, if it brought you to me, as if I was always undeserving.
As if I had to walk on my knees until you decided to pick me up.
- So, have I found your secret weak spot, baby?
 
And, so perhaps it isn't so bad to sit there
our gaze fixed on the water, thoughts hiding behind our eyes.
Side by side but far apart. 
At least we sit together.
 
 
 
 

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