(This is not a) Diatribe
And so, the day came when I heard the songs, but felt nothing.
I remembered without being destroyed.
There was no sadness, no anger or loss.
Not even the violent indifference that I have been cultivating for so long.
There was a void where my feelings once were, and it was not fabricated.
It felt like nothing, but without the weight it sometimes carries.
After years on my knees, on the ground, in the gravel
I realize that I was the one keeping me there,
letting gravity push me further down,
- maybe I liked it that way?
Now, this is not freedom. Freedom exiles.
This is absence of dependence.
Independence, if you will.
neither friend nor foe.
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