walking in my shoes

Despite the obvious setback, I'm feeling confident and optimistic
Perhaps it's my new shoes
/And suddenly everything is right/
Perhaps its the inevitability.

First day of new life started out Perfect.
political activism with great people, awesome dance class
and a promising introduction to teaching.


well, about the setback...
If only the impossible is worth the effort.
and the risk reveals the value.
- The effort has been magnanimous and the value appearently is miniscule.
What is left?

-just me.


Yeeeah, I'm

Drowning in inevitability.

Reality is the name we give to our disappointments.

"I'll call you", he says assuringly.
She turns around slowly and shrugs, her arms hanging hopelessly alongside her body.
"For what? We're so over. We need a new word for over"
He does not respond. He puts on a brave look, knowing he has nothing more to say.
Maybe for ever. And then she leaves.

I know you aren't supposed to relate real life events to TV shows.
The opposite is much healthier.
But shared experiences are just that- shared-
no matter if they are ficticious or based on a true story.


and I keep thinking
of all those times when I guarded my heart with iron walls,
justifying it as compensation for the times
when I left it out in the cold.
Alone. Defenseless.

And I think of how it is all ruined,
how weapons nurture violence
-even emotional weapons.
Even mine.

And so if one of those times
instead of fighting back, I had reached out for his hand.
And given up honestly instead of giving in secretly.

Would that have made it all new again?

love love love!


Inception, chiasmus and twilight

Lately I find myself spending my days in a magical land of mystery.
No, I am not doing drugs and I am not (as far as I am aware) schizofrenic.
I have simply found my way into a field where everything is half-hidden and nothing is clarified.
And this land of shadowy limbo (-why change an expression when it works so well?)
offers so many possibilities for the mind, so many adventures for the imagination.

This land is somewhere between existentialism, the quest for truth and linguistics
it is concerned with ambiguity, paradoxicality and make-belief.
Where words like inception and twilight are not just movies, but valid concepts.

On a merely related note, I leave you with the latest finding of my chiastic observations, which happens to be one of the many ironies of human interaction:

The instinct of a man is
to pursue everything that flies from him,
and to fly from all that pursue him.
- Voltaire.


Entre irse y quedarse dude el día,
enamorado de su transparencia.´
La tarde circular es ya bahía;
en su quieto vaivén se mece el munco
Todo es visible y todo es elusivo
todo está cerca y todo es intocable.
                                     - Paz.


Je veux pas de Kate je veux Ethan Hawk

baby baby baby.


"out with the new, in with the old" seems to be a recurrent theme for the moment.
People that I thought were lost keep coming back,
others never leave, but never really stay either; they exist in a kind of shadowy limbo
while some have their separate lives, far away, but I know they'll be here the second I ask.

This is life, I guess.
People passing through and there is no way of knowing who will stay.
Who will matter the most and who you cannot live without.
Who lets you down and who has the power to hurt you the most.
Who will leave a mark on your chest and your life will never be the same.

and speaking of reconnection:

Note to self: that no emotion is the final one.


The only alternative to coexistence is codestruction
-Jawaharlal Nehru

Obama argues that the construction of a Mosque only blocks away from Ground Zero does not breach the US constitutional freedom of religion and what happens? High profile politicians compare it to putting up a memorial mark of the Nazis next to the museum of the Holocaust. Perspectives?
Appearently, all muslims bear the blame of 9/11. And they will bear it til the end of time.

At the same time, Sverigedemokraterna are gaining ground as we approach the Swedish elections.
People shamelessly let themselves be interviewed on national television, throwing statements around on how immigants are rapists and murderers and how Sweden must strive to a 5% rate of immigrant population.

Globalization and internationalism, in all their glory, have not yet succeeded in bringing people together. Au contraire. We guard our own, we look suspisciously at each other and we are afraid.
When I say I love the melting pot of cultures, I am mocked or looked at in disbelief.

The President of the US National Center on Education and the Economy is quoted as saying:
"One thing we know about creativity is that it typically occurs when people who have mastered two or more quite different fields use the framework in one to think afresh about the other".
And, again, the brain expands when confused.. and what more- then- expands the brain than the meeting of cultures?

And as always, Thomas L Friedman is insightful.

arbetsmarknaden är ett skämt, men vi är atletiska på allvar

We came, we ran and we made it :)
Appearently we also entertained lots of bystanders along the way.
It is incredible how much joy some green noses can bring.
Or perhaps it is our attitude...

-We rock-



When my patience's wearing thin
When I'm ready to give in
Will you pick me up again?

shameful policies

I am reading about the new restrictions in the migration policies and how they effectively cause people to fall between the shelves and remain forgotten. Since a few months back, people fleeing from countries where institutions for identification are not in place are no longer admitted in our country for security reasons.
Somalia is one such country and thus Somalian refugees face little or no hope of fleeing from a country that is said to be "one of the most dangerous countries in the world" by the Swedish Department of Foreign Affairs.

Minister of migration Billström claims that the need to secure the identity of a migrant arises because it is the right of every state to know whether or not a migrant is a trafficked person or a migrant in the net of an organized smuggling criminal group.
Does that mean that it is the right of every state to deny those people sejour on that account?
No wonder we have one of the lowest rates of trafficked persons...

-where would the pieces fly?

Perfect paraphrase.

ceci n'est pas une pipe

I can change the story
I am the story

it ain't me, babe.

life's too short.

The Domino Effect (link) is one of my favourite episodes of Sex and the City.
Of course we only ever like things that we can fit into the frames of our own lives,
but that is just how life works.

I've been saying how I want to collect something and trying to figure out what.
But it seem- perhaps- I've been collecting things all along.
I collect thoughts, I collect words and wisdom.
Unfortunately I've got nothing to show and mostly it just makes me seem a little weird.

And once again, I am biased.
Collecting the thoughts that I wish I had thought.
The words I would have liked to write.
Perhaps the emotional algebra I wanted to feel.
and feel, sometimes.

I've got boxes filled with notebooks if you care to see.

Lagom Svensk?

when your mind's made up.

/games that never amount to anything much
will play themselves out./

ONCE is one of those movies that surprises you.
It seems harmless at first, innocent; helpless even.
But before you know it you're trapped and sitting there sobbing away.
It's the realness of it. Excrutiatingly simple, harsh.
The crude reality of what is not said- not done.
That is exactly what captivates you.

and the soundtrack. Oh, the soundtrack.

La cienega just smiles..'see you around'.

oh, I feel like..Ryan Adams and Avril Lavigne.
Alanis Morissette and Amparanoia.

They say consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
And I am not consistent
/I contain multitudes/
And who says you cannot change? Improve? Invent?
Is not that the mark of humanity, the capacity to re-invent ourselves..?

The night is lush the air is still
Nothing brings me down


listen to the words you say.

new discovery Justin Nozuka.
Amazing, beautiful, bittersweet.

growing up means setting your own rules (?)

(c) http://xkcd.com/

from perception to meaning (courtesy of Lakoff)



What we have discovered in the last 30 years is- surprise, surprise-
people think with their brains.
...And their brains are part of their bodies.

cred. to John Lennon

Busy making plans, busy thinking about how busy I will be
So incredibly busy thinking about how much time I spend thinking about everything
every excrutiating detail of what is and has been and what must not be again.
And all the while I catch myself thinking:
- When will it start?
I am talking about life, of course, and then I realize how silly I am.


Summer passed so quickly it went by almost unnoticed.
Even so, I did have time for some great events and adventures.
Summer 2010 revisited...

Outside gym class combined with CUF campaign with Kajsa & Diana
The Swedish Labour market is a freaking joke :)

Reunion with darling Miriam in Copenhagen.
One wonderful, but much too short sunny day.

Celebrating with friends and family that I am (not) finished with the studies.
What a great day.

Awesome week in Vienna, at the AIDS2010 Conference.
Meeting crazy but great people like Benjamin and Frances, aka Dumbo and Grrrrr.

And of course, reunion with my UN girls and Michele!!!! <3

Now it is running out and new exciting things are to come. It is always somehow bittersweet when you think about the passing of time, and the changing of seasons. But ends are always beginnings and there is always something new to look forward to.
For now; new home, new studies, new job.
And serendipity?

RSS 2.0