Tu choisis quoi; Un lovestory de 1ère ou 2e classe?
Perhaps it wasn't so much my reluctance to ask what you wanted
As your refusal to acknowledge my questions
As if it was somehow my own fault
that I did not know, did not understand
How you were waking up and falling asleep with someone else
Yet you still wanted more, you still needed me.
Perhaps I was always better off not knowing.
Perhaps you really did not know, either.
You would shamelessly demand
and I would shamefully empty my centre to give you more.
We are each other's worst version
Holding on to one another even though we were both weighed down
We think it's gravity, but it was the anchor of us
We were- we are- sinking.
You asked me once, do you remember?
- Why do we keep doing this?
I sighed, sensed you did not want an honest answer.
- Animal instincts, I replied wearily.
You seemed pleased at the thought.
As if all that guilt you were feeling had been taken away.
I had absolved you, but what I hoped for was my own absolution.
We are children running to the playground,
Trying to navigate, crossing a minefield
we've banned most of what we have in common to numb our bad conscience
The memories, the guilt, the happiness, the hurt
Even fantasies.
This perfectly designed self-deceptive reality would crack, of course.
And how many times can we really break til we're shattered?
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