Scatterbrainy

I am thinking.
On my balcony. A cup of steamy coffee, blank pages and a pen to make sense of it.
Lately I have been confronted with opinions on my values and how I choose to live my life.

I've met prejudice, disappointment and condescendence.

Am I that person? Do I build walls to prevent others from entering?

Am I fooling myself with my ambitions?

Are they a digression so that I don't have to deal with being emotionally crippled?

My plans and fantasies the shield I hide behind?

Would I be better off if I just took someone in, made him some space and stopped dreaming?

But then, I think of all the things that have happened to me.

Things I have done, things I have made happen.

Success and failure.

Feelings, countries, friends and lessons.

They have all led me to this point. Made me into me.

And I'll be damned if I let someone else tell me that I'd be better trying to be more like them.

That is the whole point.

This is me.

Love made me me hopefully naïve.

Infidelity and betrayal made me cautious.
Friends have given me everything, making me safe and grateful.

Mistakes made me work harder and low expectations made me vindicative.