Scatterbrainy

Lately, German words come to me subconsciously in a weird, irrevocable manner.
Wanderlust, Vorhandensein, Weltschmerz.
Perhaps it is because of the general feeling that Vonnegut described;
"How nice- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."

I do not want to get all the credit and none of the realness.
But I see the impossibility of being fully alive everywhere around me.
No time, no space, no thoughts.
No desire to feel, to be confused or lost in contemplation.
I want to stay lost in contemplation as long as possible.
I want to see the skin of light.


Some people have mastered the art of seeing beyond, of transcending between worlds
between dreams, thoughts and different realities.
Jeanette Winterson, Joanne Harrison, Gustav Klimt, Salvador Dalí.
They share the wish for something that is not ordinary, for what cannot be believed- but is there.

And I wish, sometimes, that I could wander in their worlds.
Where everything is slightly flawed but magnificently beautiful.
And most of all, where everything is heavy, raw and true.

Weltschmerz:
a mood of sentimental sadness based on the understanding
that the physical reality will never live up to the demands of the utopian mind.