Scatterbrainy

Something has been on my mind.
I know 'You' are not reading, but I'm writing You.
After all, what are 1st, 2nd and 3rd persons if not just a direction, a target of words?
You are the format of this text, it's not a conscious choice, just the direction it takes.

I can't let you get away so easily.
It is not necessarily that I want you to stay, but I need you to suffer consequences.
Yes, lately life is all about consequences. Had and not had. Imagined and over-stated.

A while ago I was hit by an explosion of consequences, all coming in the same direction; from you to me.
A bomb of junk, something you had been dying to get off your chest.
Residue; stinking baggage and worn-out feelings.
How did it feel afterwards, the weight on your shoulders any lighter? Do you sleep a little better?

I can imagine it.
Months of guilt, anger and regret boiling. Slowly but steady building up inside of you.
Surely it was never meant to be like that, you thought. You are not that kind of person. You do things right.
Others make mistakes, but you work hard, always taking the difficult road. You deserve more.
Right?
And this situation in which you found yourself was so..unfair. Yes, that was it.
Thus began the rationalization.
The tricky and messy state of affairs in which you had ended up was not something you had helped create.
It had rather fallen into your lap by no choice of your own.
You had neither initiated nor encouraged anything slightly resembling the eventual outcome. Had you?
Repress.Denial.Avert!

One day misery simply knocked on your door.
Along it brought its closest allies: guilt, complexity and pain-in-the ass.
How to deal with them?
Find a scapegoat and blame her. Blame only her; wash your hands clean.
- Talk yourself into it. Believe it, you have to believe it.

Then there's really only one more thing to do.
After you have focused all that resentment, the contempt and frustration on the target..,
Pull the trigger and Shoot.
Cut her off.
Erase. Delete. Game-Over.