You are only coming through in waves

your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying.
 
Only, it is me.
My lips are moving and I know I am the one making noise,
but I still can't hear what I am saying.
Thoughts in the head are like words under water; distorted.

I do not let myself think my thoughts out loud.
There is no time and they are all meddled back in the junkyard of my mind,
unstructured, scattered and covered with a thin layer of doubt.
- what if I am wrong? If I am not true to myself? Am I not doing everything I can? What then?

Unsettling.
So I tuck them back inside. And I perform, like I know I can. Like I know I always do.
I accomplish, I achieve and I succeed.
But is that it?


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