emotional dialectics


Is not love really about illusions? Octavio Paz wrote that "a human being is not what he is, but the self he seeks", and everybody seeks for love, don't they? Constantly and incessantly. And to be honest, a relationship is a kind of complement to your own personality; self-validation and something which perfects the image we have of ourselves. Who we want to be usually includes someone who loves who we are.

And this is really where it all goes wrong. Cause the illusion does not end there; it goes on imagining even the personality of the lover. Jeanette Winterson writes "[...] very rarely is the beloved more than a shaping spirit for the lover's dream. The pain is when the dreams change, as they do, as they must."
And Anaïs Nin agrees:
"we are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire; often against reality, against their benefit and always, in the end, a disappointment because it does not fit them".
I know this is old news and I keep talking about the same thing over and over like a senil crazy woman, but now more than ever do I feel the inherent dialectics of being both a cynic and a dreamer.

 


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