Scatterbrainy

Working for the UN means going through a variety of different feelings during the course of the day.
I dont think anyone else can understand the complex processes of pride/humiliation/stress/happiness that go through our mind and somehow manage to take over most of our lives.

(speaking of life, we don't have any, as according to the UN ETHICAL GUIDELINEs, we are obliged to ask permission of the Secretary-general, i.e. Ban Ki Moon, if we want to engage in any extra curricular activities that are not work-related....I am so nervous now cause I didnt tell Ban Ki about the birthday party that I will attend tomorrow. Hope he won't disapprove.)

So, anyway, I thought I would take you all through the mental evolution that I experience most days.

1. 08:30, Pride
Going through the security, walking past Gate 1 and passing the Fountain and the 192 member flags, I always feel kind of moved. It is crazy to think that I am living a small, tiny part of my dream every day that I am here. Making an impact, working to improve the lives of people all over the world.

2. 12:00, Hunger/stress
When you are an intern you have to accept the fact that work comes in waves. Not like regular, predictable tide waves, but just waves that sometimes come and other times do not come.
At this point the work has accumulated as to create a gigantic tsunami of tasks and projects, all of which have #1 priority.
Adding to the point, the fact that I have recently joined an Arabic class that meet 3 times a week at lunch-time; this means that 1) I am always hungry and 2) I never have time to eat.
The good part, though, is that I am learning Arabic. (aLhemdoulillah....!)


3. 15:00, Satisfaction and self-development
In the afternoon I usually become much more relaxed and feel more confident about my tasks. My feelings around this time may be a bit biased as it is usually around 3 o clock that I eat my daily dosage of chocolate and have my afternoon coffee. Also, things are slowing down a bit, but I have learnt not to shut down the engine (see #4 for explanation)

4. 17:30, Frustration
Our working hours are from 09-17. But as an intern, you want to make an excellent impression and show everybody that you do not care about having a life outside of the office.
Usually, around this time I am well buried in work without a thought of leaving in the near future. BUT on the rare occasion that I have made plans or have to leave; you can be sure that the phone rings at 17:30 and my supervisor hands over some assignment with priority #1++++.
Tasks that come up at this hour normally include such urgent matters as document formatting or research on the very specific topic of "current events"...





5. 20:00, resignation with a hint of self-fullfillment
I won't lie; usually I have left the office at this hour.
On a number of occasions, however, I have also stayed past this time.
When I do stay, its a special feeling that comes over me, looking out over the city from the 14th floor and seeing the lit up ferris wheels and the Danube.
I am trying to picture myself with this lifestyle in an approaching future. It is difficult to complain, even silently to myself, when I know I am doing something that is more than I could have ever believed I would have the chance to do.
But still, after 8 o clock I am mostly thinking about how long it will take me to get home and why do I not just leave the office at 17.00 like normal people?

6. WHENEVER, home, at the office, downtown
Despite the hard work and how little brain cells I actually have left for more popular activities, such as catching up with friends or having a drink (outside the UN bar)...I try to never forget how privileged I am to be exactly where I am and how most people never come this close to their most sought after dreams.
As somebody wrote; If it is not impossible, it is not worth the effort.